Gen. Mattis finally allowed to move out of barracks
Congrats, big guy!
By Cat Astronaut
Following his recent marriage at the age of 71, the Department of Defense has confirmed that former Marine Corps general and Secretary of Defense James ‘Mad Dog’ Mattis has sought official approval to finally move out of the barracks.
“Of course, there’s a few steps he’ll have to complete before we give the final approval,” Marine Corps Commandant Gen. David Berger said.
“Financial planning spreadsheet, a home inspection from the Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps, marriage counseling with the Chaplain, etc. We need to make sure he’s not just in it for the BAH.”
Current Marine Corps policy requires both enlisted Marines and officers to live in the barracks either until they get married or until they’re promoted to the rank of two-star general.
So one might expect that Mattis would have moved out after he was promoted to major general back in 2002.
However, since Mattis initially enlisted in the Marine Corps in 1969, a policy loophole prevented him from moving out of the barracks, even after he was appointed Secretary of Defense.
“I think it’s a reasonable policy,” Berger said. “Most Marines just aren’t mature enough to live on their own until they’ve commanded at least a Division. Even then, their houses are a mess.”
This is SATIRE from: